Happiest & Saddest Places in the World

By Carla Fried for CBS MoneyWatch.com

So much for money being everything. For decades, the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) leaned on Gross Domestic Product as a central measure of the relative well-being of its member countries. The basic idea was: Find the countries with the best economies and figure that's home to the happiest citizens. Pinpoint the economic laggards and you've got the saddest.

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No more. As the OECD puts it: "In recent years, concerns have emerged regarding the fact that macro-economic statistics did not portray the right image of what ordinary people perceived about the state of their own lives. Addressing these concerns is crucial, not just for the credibility and accountability of public policies, but for the very functioning of our democracies." In other words, money isn't all it takes.

Toward a Better Measure of What Makes for a Better Life

To help it get a handle on what matters to us ordinary people, the OECD has launched its Better Life Initiative to get at the notion of well-being via a mix of economic and social factors. And in a move that gets my vote as one of the better crowd-sourcing initiatives, it is asking all of us to vote on what factors we think are more, or less, important when assessing overall well-being.

The OECD's just-released Better Life Index is an interactive tool that asks you to create a personalized ranking based on how important 11 different broad subject areas are to you: Housing, Income, Jobs, Community, Education, Environment, Governance, Health, Life Satisfaction, Safety, Work-Life Balance. Note that most of these have nothing to do with straight-up financial issues.

When you head over to the OECD site to create your own personal "Best Places to Live" list, the OECD will be collecting data on the weightings chosen by us ordinary folk. (Don't worry, no registration is necessary and the OECD is clear it is respecting privacy here). The idea is for all of us to give the OECD some insights into what we think does and doesn't matter when it comes to defining the "good life." The OECD is effectively trying to get some consensus on what it recognizes is a very subjective process. So for anyone who's ever had one of those "If I ran the world, I'd…" moments, well, here's your chance to have at least a little say. The OECD plans to share its findings with us later this year.

Happiest and Saddest Countries: A Starting Point

As a starting point, I came up with lists of the happiest and saddest countries in the world by looking at supporting data from the OECD showing how often each country appeared in the top or bottom 20 percent across 21 different areas (these 21 areas were rolled up into the 11 broad categories mentioned above).

A couple of important caveats. Right now the OECD database only includes 34 developed nations. So no China, Brazil, India, Russia or other emerging economies. And no Bhutan, whose King long ago declared "gross national happiness is more important than gross national product. " The OECD says it plans to add in major emerging countries later this year.

Another limitation is the data available to the OECD in each of the 21 specific areas it is tracking. Some data is great, others less so. The OECD will be upgrading its data as it becomes available. Think of this as Better Life 1.0.

Happiest Countries

1.   Australia (Scored in top 20 percent in 11 of 21 sub topics)

1.   Canada (11 of 21)

3.   New Zealand (9 of 21)

4.   Denmark (8 of 21)

4.   Norway (8 of 21)

4.   Sweden  (8 of 21)

So much for long cold winters being a downer; four of those six are not exactly beach-front destinations. And let's hear it for the Commonwealth: Australia, Canada, and New Zealand take gold, silver, and bronze in these rankings (by comparison, the mother country, the United Kingdom, managed to score in the top 20 percent on just 4 of the 21 factors).

Now onto the countries that landed in the bottom 20 percent the most often.

Saddest Countries

Here are the countries that scored in the bottom 20 percent most often in the 21 topics included in the OECD's Better Life Index:

1.   Estonia (13)

2.   Mexico (11)

3.   Turkey (11)

4.   Hungary (9)

5.   Poland (9)

6.   Slovak Republic (9)

Where in the World Is the United States?

Well, we landed in the top 20 percent on six of the 21 measures, so not too shabby (the six were household disposable income, household net worth, self-reported health status, educational attainment, voter turn-out, and self-reported victimization). When an equal weight is given to the 11 broad categories, the U.S.comes in 7th.

But that's just a starting point. Go give the OECD Better Life Index a spin and report back below in the comments how your own Best Countries list plays out based on your personal weightings of what matters most to you.

©2011 CBS Interactive Inc., a CBS Company. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

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7 Healthy Must-Reads for the Beach this Summer

Now that summer has unofficially begun, it's time to sit back and relax -- with a book. Leisurely reading a book on the beach or at the pool is a fantastic way to de-stress and learn something new. We rounded up the best health- and nutrition-related books that will keep your interest and maybe even inspire you to be just a little bit fitter and happier!

1. Unlimited: How to Build an Exceptional Life. This book is penned by Jillian Michaels and is a deep-dive into helping you figure out what's holding you back -- be it with your weight, your inability to stick to a workout program, or even relationships issues. This is the closest you can get to talking to the former Biggest Loser trainer herself!

2. The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals. This title is a tale of what we eat, where it comes from and, really, why we should care. Author Michael Pollan takes you on a fascinating adventure into what's really on your plate. For your younger beach buddies, take a look at Omnivore's Dilemma for Kids.

3. The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun. Possibly with the longest title ever, this book by Gretchen Rubin hits on what's really important in life: satisfaction and joy. Follow her on her journey in this book, and pick up a few tips on how to boost your own happiness, too!

4. The Life You Want: Get Motivated, Lose Weight, and Be Happy. Known best as Oprah's trainer, author Bob Greene really gets at the heart of weight gain and weight loss in this book. Through research and plenty of soul-searching, this book will captivate anyone who has -- or is currently -- struggling with his or her weight.

5. Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir. If you like your summer beach reads on the lighter, more comedic side, this memoir by Jennette Fulda is your book. This captivating yet humorous tale is not only entertaining, it's also inspirational to make you want to get moving and eating better, too.

6. Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen. If you're a runner, this book is a must for your summer-reading list. In the non-fiction book, author Christopher McDougall examines the world's best runners and makes a strong case that, when it comes to running, most of us are doing it wrong.

7. The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite. If you've ever wondered why you really can't stop eating after one chip, David Kessler's book is for you. This science-based yet easy-to-understand book shares a fascinating look at why we're all so darn hungry.

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Is Your Birth Control as Safe as You Think?

Photo Credit: Richard Pierce

Christen Childs woke up on September 12, 2009, in the pitch dark of early morning with what she thought was a pulled muscle in her leg. She reached down to massage the cramp, trying to fathom how her left calf could be so achingly sore when she hadn't made it to the gym in weeks. This was a Saturday — by Monday, her leg was swollen and hot, and when she tried to stand, jolts of pain shot up to her spine. She consulted her brother-in-law, a doctor, and he told her to go to the ER immediately. He suspected what an ultrasound would confirm: Childs, 26, had a blood clot in her leg — left untreated, it could kill her. "When the doctor diagnosed me, I started crying," she says. "I was stunned by how close I had come to dying."

Death would come closer still. Later that day, the clot broke apart and traveled to her lungs. Straining to breathe, she remained bedridden in the intensive-care unit as blood thinners were injected into her stomach four times a day for six days. By the following weekend, she was released, instructed to return weekly for hematology checks to make sure new clots hadn't formed. Meanwhile, her doctors ran a battery of tests to figure out what exactly went wrong. After all, Childs didn't have any of the risk factors associated with blood clots: She didn't smoke, wasn't overweight, and had no family history of clots. After six months on blood thinners, Childs was finally back to her old self, with one exception: Her doctors wouldn't let her go back on NuvaRing, her birth control, which they determined was the likely culprit behind her near-fatal illness.

NuvaRing is one of the world's most popular forms of non-pill birth control, and recent data indicates that more than 5.5 million prescriptions were written in the U.S. in 2010, according to IMS Health, a health-care information company. But in recent years, serious questions have arisen concerning its safety. To date, almost 1,000 cases of possible NuvaRing-related blood clots have been reported to the FDA, and more than 700 women in the U.S. are currently suing Merck, NuvaRing's manufacturer, for downplaying its health risks. Most of those lawsuits have been consolidated into a massive, multidistrict federal case that's expected to go to trial in Missouri next year. The NuvaRing case is being closely watched by physicians and the pharm industry. If the litigants persuade a jury that Merck undersold the device's risk for blood clots — a big if, to be sure — it could have far-reaching consequences for several contraceptives on the market.

When it was approved by the FDA in 2001, NuvaRing became the world's first vaginal birth-control ring. Inserted just once a month, it dispenses hormones directly into the bloodstream. Unlike oral contraceptives, which require taking a pill the same time every day, NuvaRing is marketed as a pill-free, no-muss/no-fuss alternative. Just pop it in and forget about it (the ring remains in for three weeks and comes out for a week during your period). That pitch clearly resonated with women. Last year, NuvaRing generated $559 million in international sales for Merck.

It's worth noting that all hormonal birth control with added estrogen carries a risk of blood clots. In the 1960s, the estrogen used in the earliest pills raised the risk of clots more than ninefold. A decade later, a second generation of pills containing a much gentler dose of the hormone, coupled with the synthetic hormone progestin, had been developed. Though these second-generation pills are effective and safe, drugmakers have sought new forms to market as better able to control conditions like facial hair and acne. NuvaRing contains a version of the third-generation progestin desogestrel. There's even a fourth-generation progestin, said to alleviate symptoms of PMS; it's the essential component of Yaz and Yasmin, two top-selling oral contraceptives.

The problem? Some researchers say third- and fourth-generation contraceptives — including those containing desogestrel — raise the risk of blood clots without adding any benefit. In 2007, the consumer watchdog group Public Citizen petitioned the FDA to ban oral contraceptives containing desogestrel. Although NuvaRing wasn't named in that petition because it was still fairly new, the director of Public Citizen's Health Resource Group, Dr. Sidney Wolfe, reached an unequivocal conclusion: "We've told people not to use these drugs and have advised women that the safest contraceptives are the older, second-generation ones." The FDA didn't act on Public Citizen's claims, even though during its own review process, the agency concluded that NuvaRing's label should "clearly reflect safety concerns about an increased risk" for blood clots.

In 2009, the British Medical Journal published two investigations of desogestrel and fourth-generation progestins that seemed to bolster critics' concerns. Both studies found that women taking third- and fourth-generation pills were almost twice as likely to get a blood clot than those who took second-generation contraceptives. Frits Rosendaal, Ph.D., an epidemiologist at Leiden University Medical Center in the Netherlands who has contributed to more than a dozen scientific papers on desogestrel, coauthored one of the studies that found a higher risk for clots in NuvaRing than in second-generation birth control. "To me, it's incredible that [Merck] used desogestrel and not a second-generation progestin. Why not go for the one with the lowest risk?" says Rosendaal.

But Merck and other scientists dispute claims that NuvaRing poses a higher risk than other contraceptives. In NuvaRing's product information pamphlet, Merck acknowledges the findings, but adds, "Data from additional studies have not shown this twofold increase in risk. It is unknown if NuvaRing has a different risk of [blood clots] than second-generation oral contraceptives." That position infuriates NuvaRing's critics. "Nine years after the product was put on the market, they still say the risk is unknown. To say, 'We just don't know' is not sufficient," says Thomas Lamb, a North Carolina — based attorney whose firm represents more than 50 women around the country who have filed suit against NuvaRing, Yaz, and other third- and fourth-generation contraceptives.

Among those wanting answers is Robert Bozicev, 37, of Tom's River, New Jersey. His 32-year-old wife, Jackie, had begun using NuvaRing shortly after the birth of their daughter in 2007. One Friday morning, as he stood in the kitchen making breakfast for their two kids, he heard her puttering about in their second-floor bathroom. As she was about to step into the shower, she called his name. He answered her, preoccupied with their son, 2, who was demanding another waffle. After she cried for him a second time, barely able to get out his name, he dashed upstairs and found her on the floor, unable to breathe. "She was in a lot of pain, rolling around, trying to get onto her stomach," he says. "My son was there, watching the whole thing." To his horror, Jackie started turning blue.

When an ambulance arrived, emergency techs tried to restart her breathing. Bozicev was gripped with terror. Doctors continued to try to revive her in the hospital but eventually had to give up. She died that day. The cause of death: massive pulmonary thromboemboli due to deep vein thrombosis. In other words, she died from a blood clot. Anxious to learn more about what had happened, Bozicev searched online and came upon reports linking NuvaRing to an increased risk of clots. Knowing Jackie had been healthy before she started using the device (she wasn't overweight and didn't smoke), Bozicev concluded that NuvaRing was to blame, and filed a wrongful-death suit against Merck in March 2008. "Even to this day — and this is three and a half years later — I still can't believe it happened," he says. Jackie's clothes remain in her closet. He is too heartbroken to take them out.

NuvaRing isn't the only pill-free contraceptive beset by litigation. When Ortho Evra hit pharmacy shelves in 2002, it was the first birth-control patch of its kind. Its selling point: Simply slap a Band-Aid-like adhesive on your arm, stomach, or back each week. Within two years, sales had swelled to nearly $400 million. But soon after, studies emerged indicating that the blood concentrations of estrogen in Ortho Evra users might be much higher than previously thought, resulting in a greater risk of clots. That's when the lawsuits piled up. In November 2005, Ortho Evra, under an agreement with the FDA, added a black-box warning to its packages stating that patch users are exposed to roughly 60 percent more estrogen than the typical pill user, resulting in a potential "approximate doubling of risk of serious blood clots." The warning also stated that the risk might not increase at all, but it was still enough to scare off doctors. By year-end 2010, Ortho Evra's sales had fallen 69 percent to $124 million.

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The Most Important Foods to Buy Organic

Organic food is less ubiquitous than pesticide-covered produce. It can also be pricier. But if you are eating any of the following foods, it's worth buying organic, as they are more saturated with pesticides than any other foods.

Potatoes

Potatoes often retain pesticides even after they are washed and peeled. Almost 80 percent of potatoes contain pesticides.

Baby food

Babies are the most vulnerable to pesticides, and they eat a lot of this.

Milk

Dairy cows are routinely fed hormones, antibiotics, and pesticide-covered grains, all of which can end up in your milk. The higher the fat level of the milk, the higher the level of pesticides. And toddlers drink lots of whole milk.

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Apples

Apples are near the top of the high-pesticide-level list. They're also a favorite of kids; apples, apple juice, and applesauce are among the most common foods eaten by children ages 1 to 5, according to a USDA survey. So buy organic if you can.

Meat

Animal feed is often laced with antibiotics and synthetic growth hormones. Residue from these chemicals may still be present in meat. The use of antibiotics in food production could contribute to the rise of antibiotic-resistant bacteria.

Nectarines

About 97 percent of nectarines have been found to contain pesticides, according to the USDA.

Spinach

Spinach and lettuce have lots of surface area for pesticides to cover. More than 83 percent of spinach contains pesticides.

Peaches and pears

Nearly 94 percent of peaches and pears contain pesticides. Peaches are number one on the Environmental Working Group's list of foods with the most and the highest concentration of pesticides.

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Strawberries

Thin skins make fruits particularly vulnerable to pesticides. Some 90 percent of strawberries contain pesticides.

Bell peppers

Peppers absorb pesticides like a sponge. About 68 percent of peppers contain pesticides and many are imported from countries with looser standards than the US has.

Eggs

Pesticides may pass from chickens to eggs, and from there to the many foods you make with them. Organic eggs com­e from birds that eat organic feed and are not pumped up with growth hormone or dosed with an­tibiotics.

Imported grapes (from Chile, etc)

Some 86 percent of these grapes contain pesticides. And it's pretty hard to peel a grape.

Sources: Parents.com, gourmetfood.com, WebMD.com

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Improve Your Digestion To Boost Your Mood, Metabolism, and Even Reduce Cellulite

Are you suffering from heartburn or headaches? Just can't get out of bed in the morning? Do you look as though you are never rested no matter how much sleep you get, or feel as bloated as the Pillsbury Doughboy because of relentless water retention? All of these symptoms can be caused by the foods you are eating.

Many of us tend to consume the same foods day after day with little variety. This may lead to our bodies becoming "sensitized" to the foods (food sensitivities are also sometimes called food allergies, although they may not be true allergies like those that may induce an anaphylactic reaction). This may result in a myriad of symptoms that are surprisingly not always digestive in nature. The trouble is we tend to go on, gradually feeling worse and worse, chronically fatigued or under-functioning. Usually it is difficult to realize how badly you are feeling until the offending foods are removed and you begin to notice improvements in subtle ways such as improvements in energy levels, moods, concentration and focus, joint pain, headaches or sinus congestion. This is why removal of the most commonly allergenic food groups is the essential first step in every one of my patient's personalized wellness plan.

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Through this process of removing certain foods from your diet will you realize that your digestive tract isn't just about the process of digestion. There are less commonly recognized processes linked to your gastrointestinal tract and, ultimately, your foundation of health. These include:

Immunity. Approximately 60% of your immune system is clustered around your digestive tract. This makes sense because if you eat something rotten, your immune system is close by to protect you. However, because of the close association of the two, if your digestive tract is not healthy or the integrity of the gut wall is poor, your immune system may become compromised. Over time, many individuals experiencing digestive complaints tend to develop signs of weakened immunity such as allergies or frequent colds and the flu. In the same line of thinking, consuming certain foods may aggravate your allergy symptoms.

Mood. Our digestive system affects serotonin levels, which influences mood, memory, concentration and even food cravings and sleep patterns. Ever wonder why you tend to crave sweet foods or carbohydrates if you are down? Physiologically, it is not surprising, as two-thirds of the serotonin — your "happy hormone," governing mood, anxiety, sleep and food cravings — actually are produced from cells around your digestive tract and not your brain. This may be the theory behind some of the new medications used to treat irritable bowel syndrome, many of which affect serotonin levels. People who are experiencing anxiety, depression or sleep irregularities may benefit from the removal of certain foods causing allergies as they may be affecting serotonin levels involved in these conditions.

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Detoxification and nutrient absorption. If your bowels are not moving, waste will create toxicity and impede health, especially estrogen by-products since estrogen is metabolized in the liver and excreted into the digestive system in the bile. The bacteria in the large bowel further the breakdown of estrogen. Liver function, bile secretion, bacterial balance and frequency of bowel movements are essential processes for ridding the body of excess estrogen which has been known to can increase cancer risks and toxic weight gain in both men and women. A bowel movement after each meal is perfect bowel function. Cleansing your digestive system will clear your complexion and improve your energy levels as you gain a sense of well-being. Improving intestinal wall competency will also aid absorption of nutrients and water, while preventing absorption of unhealthy bacteria and incompletely digested food or toxins.

Vitamin B12 levels. If the digestive system is compromised, or the small intestine is inflamed, mal-absorption of vitamin B12 can easily occur. Vitamin B12 is important for healthy red blood cell production, mood, health of the nervous system, carbohydrate metabolism and fertility. On blood tests, your B12 should measure 600 or above to be considered optimal. The stomach cells produce intrinsic factor, a compound necessary for the absorption of vitamin B12. If the stomach does not produce sufficient intrinsic factor, or if stomach acid levels are low, a deficiency of vitamin B12 may occur. Due to these factors involved in B12 absorption, it is often best to take supplements by injection or in forms that are absorbed under the tongue if your levels need to be topped up. Beyond its involvement in metabolism, vitamin B12 is also essential for establishing healthy sleep patterns. Healthy sleep patterns are important for optimizing hormonal balance for fat loss.

Cellulite, inflammation and future risk of disease. The immune response to food proteins may indirectly contribute to increased amounts of cellulite. Delayed pattern food allergy may occur within blood vessels causing inflammation in the vessel walls and subsequently triggering clotting mechanisms. The increase in inflammation in the arteries and capillaries may contribute to poor circulation, a known cause of cellulite, as well as reduced lymphatic drainage.

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Heart disease. Slightly more concerning is the possible link of food allergies with heart disease and stroke through this same inflammatory mechanism. Studies involving the measurement of highly sensitive C-reactive protein in the blood have found that this inflammatory marker is associated with increased risk of heart attack and stroke. This clearly supports the strong connection between inflammation and cardiovascular disease. Hence, the removal of all factors which contribute to inflammation is beneficial including the consumption of unhealthy fats such as trans-fatty acids and saturated fats (in dairy products and red meats).

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"When My Mother Died, She Told Me To Try to Enjoy My Life More"

Megan-orourke

Happiness interview: Meghan O'Rourke.

Meghan O'Rourke is a writer in many incarnations -- an essayist, poet, critic, and editor. I got to know Meghan during the time that my blog appeared on Slate , and I was very eager to get my hands on her new book.

The Long Goodbye is a memoir of her mother's death from cancer in 2008, at the age of 55, when Meghan was 32 years old. Going through great unhappiness is one of the best, and most difficult, teachers of happiness, so I was very interested to hear what Meghan had to say.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Meghan: Taking a walk. I used to run a lot, and that always made me happier (even if I was unhappy lacing up my shoes to do it). But I tore the cartilage in my right hip and need surgery – so I can't run anymore. The injury happened about 9 months after my mother died, and running had been one of my ways of dealing. This has been a real challenge. But I realized that I could walk instead, and over time I've come to see that slowing down and taking things in – rather than running through them like a linebacker – might be good for me.

Generally, reading a good book makes me happy. Reading Anne of Green Gables or T. H. White's The Once and Future King always is great, and I return to them when I'm particularly low. And learning does too. There is a beautiful passage in The Book of Merlyn, the prequel to The Once and Future King, about this, and after my mother died it was a kind of lifeline for me:

"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder in your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewer of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then—to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it."

[I love that passage, too! In fact, I quoted it here two years ago.]

What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?
I guess that it comes and goes. When I'm unhappy, I know that the worst part of it will pass if I just stick it out; I can survive it. At the same time – and this is more complicated, and may seem to contradict what I just said – I have a stronger sense that certain kinds of pain do stay with us and shape us profoundly. My mother's death on Christmas Day 2008 taught me that. The shaping isn't all for ill, though it can be challenging to remember that.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
Not sleeping enough. Not exercising. Obvious things. One that's less obvious, to me at least: I can be a workaholic. Sometimes I look up, feeling lonely, and realize I haven't seen my friends or gotten out of the house for a few days. Not seeing people always makes me feel down, even though I sometimes think it will feel good to just hole up and be quiet.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you've found very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself that "There is only love.")
My mother used to say, "Lighten up, Meg," when I got uptight about little things. It was her way of saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff." She knew that I was anxious, and a little obsessive, and that sometimes I let the world seem darker than it needed to. Now that she's gone, I say that to myself – usually when fretting that I said the wrong thing to so-and-so, or made the wrong call about something at work, or some such. Or when I wanted to do x and instead got stuck doing y – but it really doesn't matter.

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?
Sweating the small stuff; not taking time to feel grateful. I know these are things you talk about a lot on your blog – but actively taking the time to feel grateful can change your day radically. After my mother's death the only way I got through the worst months of grieving was in trying to identify beauty. It sounds corny, and I probably would have laughed at myself for this once upon a time, but I would make myself try to find several beautiful things in the day and not let myself spiral into anxiety that they might someday disappear.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
I do work on being happier. When my mother died, she basically told me to try to enjoy my life more. So now I take more care with boring things – like trying to go to bed at the same time, eat well, exercise a little every day. I try to notice when something feels bad, or spending time with someone leaves me feeling deflated. And I tell myself most of the things that I get worried about truly don't matter. I have a fairly hokey routine of trying to remind myself of the largeness of the universe and the minuteness of my place in it.

Have you ever been surprised that something you expected would make you very happy, didn't – or vice versa?
Great question. I once moved to a bigger apartment in a remoter location thinking that the space would make me happier. In fact, I missed feeling in the thick of things – and preferred having a smaller place to feeling lonely.

The real surprise though has been what happened to me after my mother died: I remember feeling that nothing good could ever happen again, that her death was a painful force of ill in my life. But two and a half years on I can see that there were things that have come out of it that have helped me – I learned to relax a bit, paradoxically, because the thing I was most frightened of happened, and I survived. In a strange way, it has made me more grateful, and I think a lot of stuff is much funnier than I used to. (Particularly my own failures and pretensions.) In a sense, I'm so grateful not to be in the kind of pain I was right after she died that lots of little things seem pretty extraordinary – and big things, too, like the fact that loss can connect you to other people who have suffered. Ironically, I made friends with people because I was grieving and they came forward to help – and it forced us into a kind of closeness we might not otherwise have had.

* I'm now officially obsessed with the sense of smell, so was intrigued by this post, Curious about...Sillage on the terrific site The Curiosity Chronicles. I'd never heard the wonderful term "sillage," which is French for "wake" (as in the wake left by a boat) and is also used to describe how a perfume leaves behind its scent.

* Father's Day is coming soon! (June 19 in the U.S., UK, and Canada.) For your consideration...The Happiness Project (can't resist mentioning: #1 New York Times bestseller). To make a book gift more special, perhaps you'd like a signed, personalized bookplate -- or for an ebook or audio book, perhaps you'd like a signed, personalized signature card, with Paradoxes of Happiness on the back. If so, email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com. Feel free to ask for as many as you'd like, for yourself or for a gift; I'll mail anywhere in the world; they're free -- and please remember to include your mailing address.

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