"How Do You Give Yourself a Hapiness Boost?"

Mrlady

Happiness interview: Mr. Lady.

Next week I'm going to the BlogHer conference, where I'll be on a panel with Mr. Lady (guess what? it's not her real name). She writes the blog Whiskey in My Sippy Cup -- "a heartbreaking work of staggering mediocrity."

I'm looking forward to meeting her in person, and was curious to hear what she had to say specifically on the subject of happiness, because it's a subject that she writes about often, from her own perspective.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Mr. Lady: Laughing. Until I cry and pee comes out a little bit laughter. This, of course, means hanging around the types of people that induce such laughter. I forgot to do that for a lot of years. I won't make that mistake ever again.

What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?
That it's a verb, not a noun. That happiness is something that is constantly happening, like the wind, you just have to let yourself feel it.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
Worrying about yours. Or his, or hers or theirs. I'm a pleaser, and enabler, an 'I will die a thousand deaths if you don't love me every second of the day' kind of person. We really aren't fun to be around, because we spend so much time worrying about what you think of us that we can't figure out how we feel about ourselves. It's a character flaw. I'm working on it.

If you're feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?
I create. It doesn't matter much what, just the process of making something. Sometimes, it's really awful cookies (I was born missing a cookie-baking gene) (No, really) (I can't even make the kind that are already made), sometimes it's fixing someone's blog template for them, sometimes it's writing. Doesn't much matter, really.

Have you always felt about the same level of happiness, or have you been through a period when you felt exceptionally happy or unhappy – if so, why? If you were unhappy, how did you become happier?
I've run the gamut, for sure. I came from an extremely abusive home, and spent the next 20 years trying to re-create it the best ways I knew how. I've danced with depression in the pale moon light, made it through two nervous breakdowns, and one day just decided that I'd much prefer to see the good in the world. and now I do. The end.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
Every minute of the day, every day of my life. I make a conscious decision to rejoice every day, even the days when I don't want to. Everything has an upside, and I am determined to find it, always.

* I'm a big fan of Daniel Pink, who writes about the changing world of work, and always enjoy stopping by hisblog. Great stuff there.

* Is your book group reading The Happiness Project? I've prepared a one-page discussion guide for book groups, as well as a guide tailored for church groups, Bible study groups, spirituality book groups, and the like. If you'd like either discussion guide (or both), email me at gretchenrubin1 at gretchenrubin dot com.

Read more »

8 Fast Food Picks That are Good for Your Skin (Really!)

Every time I pull up to the drive-thru window, an inner dialogue quickly turns into a heated debate:

Me:"Don't you dare order the Big Mac and fries, Anna!"

Me:"But I went to Zumba today AND I'm PMSing really bad. I friggin' deserve this."

Me:"Anna, I'm warning you. Not only can your thighs not afford it, but you'll feel like you've been run over by a meaty Mack truck afterwards. And don't even get me started on the greasefest of a breakout that will be spread across your forehead like the mayo on that sesame seed bun."

Me: "Fine! You win this time, but I'm getting something! What should I get?"

Sound familiar? Yeah, well that's because you are bound to be faced with the pick up window at some point -- when you're super busy and it's the only option, or when you just feel like rebelling against your healthy lunchbox. (Does your lunch need a healthy makeover? Check out these quick fixes.)

It's no diet myth that fast food packs on the pounds, but you might not realize how bad it is for your skin, too. (All the exfoliating, facials, and fancy face creams in the world won't do squat if you're noshing on these foods that wreck your skin.) So, to help you make the best decisions in a pinch, I spoke to Jim White, R.D., a registered dietitian and American Dietetic Association spokesperson. Here are some of the best options at some of your favorite fast food joints. 

 

More from TotalBeauty.com:

• Stress for Women: How to Ditch PMS -- for Good
• Health Hints: 6 Surprising Energy Zappers
• Healthy Skin Diet: 6 Yummy Foods That Prevent Wrinkles
• 11 Easy Ways to Burn More and Consume Less Calories
• The 5 Workouts Celebrities Swear By

PrevNext

photos 1 – 7 of 8

• • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 

photo 1 of 8

Next

Smoothie: 16 oz Jamba Juice Probiotic Fruit & Yogurt Blends -- Vibrant Blueberry

What's in it: Nonfat yogurt, soymilk, and blueberries 

Why it's a good choice: The yogurt and nonfat milk give you 10 grams of lean protein, which plays a key role in the repair of our organs, tissues, and cells and is an essential component of collagen. This smoothie also packs in 15 percent of your daily calcium intake, important for strong bones and teeth. The blueberries contribute 50 percent of your vitamin C for the day, help preserve long-term cell damage, and have extremely high levels of antioxidants -- perfect for fighting free radicals from environmental aggressors. 

Read more »

Why Depression Could Be Good For You

A group of doctors are saying that depression can lead to better mental health. So does that mean those of us who are suffering from depression should just resolve to feeling blue? According to a recent article published in Prevention, maybe.

The theory is that pain and sadness during depression has a purpose in our lives and can be a clarifying, healing force. Depression can also be a natural way of getting you to solve important issues in your life, according to Paul Andrews, PhD, an evolutionary biologist at Virginia Commonwealth University:

Depression may be nature's way of telling you to stop and focus on what's troubling you, so you can move past it and get on with your life.

Andrews and his colleague J. Anderson Thomson, MD, a staff psychiatrist at the Student Health Services and Institute of Law and Psychiatry at the University of Virginia, have become controversial proponents for using depression to lead to better mental health–a theory that actually dates back to Aristotle during 350 BC. Apparently, studies have found that sadness promotes analytical reasoning and thinking that allows you to break down problems into manageable parts, making them easier to solve. It also leads to withdrawal–something that can give us uninterrupted time to think and learn how to turn grief and misery into wisdom, courage and determination. All of which are traits that will serve us well for the rest of our lives, according to these doctors.

Cloudy With A 60% Chance Of Depression: Site Creates Real-Time Health "Weather Maps"

On the one hand, antidepressants have been blamed for being over-used. They are the most commonly prescribed drugs for Americans under the age of 60, and roughly 10% of the adult population is taking them–double the amount from just 10 years ago. What's more, twice as many women use them versus men. Swallowing a pill may lessen feelings of sadness, it's true. And while they can also diminish other side effects that correspond with depression, like sleep disorders, lack of energy and loss of interest in your favorite things, antidepressants can make it difficult to really feel what's going on within yourself.

Study Links Depression To Chemicals In Our Blood, But Treatment Remains The Same

On the other hand, there are undoubtedly times when medication should be used in the treatment of depression. For some people–especially those who are clinically depressed–antidepressants can be necessary to make it through the day. They can even be lifesaving.

"People with more than mild to moderate illnesses–those who are debilitated by their low mood and can't do their job or take care of their kids, or who no longer enjoy anything in life–need medication," says Paul Keedwell,PhD, a psychiatrist at Cardiff University in England and the author of How Sadness Survived: The Evolutionary Basis of Depression.

In the end, even Dr. Thomson acknowledges that "in some cases, depression can be so severe that medication is required." But he stands by his belief that putting a pharmaceutical bandage over an emotional wound can disrupt true recovery which calls for discovering the source of your sadness and thinking deeply about how to get through it–a practice that can serve us well for life.

6 Celebrities Who Are Honest About Their Depression to Help Others

Tell us what you think. Have you ever suffered from depression? How did you get through it?

Read more »

Floating yoga class is just as scary as it sounds (VIDEO)

Even though I've been practicing yoga for years, it never ceases to amaze me how unbelievably challenging I find the combination of balance, strength and control. Now, comes the news that the newest trend in yoga is holding class on floating paddle boards. I might as well just admit defeat now. (Just kidding! I know that's not the spirit of yoga.)

More from The Stir: Breast Enhancing Yoga? Get Real!!

Still, look how scary this is ...

Essentially the concept involves practicing downward facing dog and other yoga poses on an over-sized surfboard floating over water (instead of a yoga mat in a safe, dry, stationary studio). The classes are actually gaining popularity in Hawaii, California, Florida, and Washington. That may be because some yoga instructors believe paddle board yoga is more of a workout than regular yoga -- the platform is unstable and you have to use your core and muscles to keep from falling off the board into the water. It's only a matter of time before they are offered at a studio or surf shop near you. Eeps!

More from The Stir: Yoga for Dogs? You've Gotta See This

Once I get over my fear of toppling over into the water, I'd probably admit the experience looks pretty amazing. There are some benefits to be out in nature -- namely that the water likely has a calming, harmonious effect on the practice. Plus, you don't have to worry about someone's cellphone ringing during Shavasana.

And besides, isn't yoga about pushing yourself to do something you never thought possible?

Have you ever done yoga on a floating paddle board?

Read more »

Ten 10-minute stress busters

We all come across obstacles that create stressful days. Even bad hair days can leave our emotions in disarray. While taking a vacay is often a sought after remedy to alleviate stress, if you can't get away, we've got 10 stress busters you can conveniently (and more economically) do at work or home.
Top 10 Foods That Burn Fat
Tips On How to Lose Belly Fat and Why
Easy Carb Counting Tips
Vegan Diets Are Making You Healthier and Stronger
Healthy Diet Means Healthy Skin
Staying Healthy With Organic Food



1. Meditation

Take time away from your stressors to meditate – a sure-fire way to relax and find peacefulness. Go to a quiet place, close your eyes, block out your surroundings, and breathe. The focus on breathing will steer you away from distracting thoughts while relaxing your mind and body. With a variety of meditation techniques available, it will be easy to find one that best suits your needs. When you are mentally relaxed, it is more difficult to get stressed out.

2. Take a Walk

Exercise, in any form, is a well-known way to reduce stress and lower stress hormones. Taking a walk can help you sort out your thoughts and steady your emotions. When you come up against a stressful day at work, go for a walk and enjoy the scenery along the way. Even a short jaunt will let you return to the office feeling recharged and relaxed.

3. Read: center yourself with words

Reading inspirational quotes and daily devotionals can quickly lift your spirits. Whether your book of choice is the Bible or another spiritual read, take a 10-minute break every day to tune in to its calming words. You can also take a 10-minute reading break to skim the comics for a laugh or lose yourself in a new best seller.

4. Journal for less stress

Expressing your feelings in a personal journal can help you release your emotions and frustrations on paper. Give yourself 10 minutes to freely write, jotting down any thoughts that come to mind within that time period. A few days later, look back on your journal entry to self-reflect on your thoughts for that day. What sticks out the most to you? What prompted your stress for that day? Do you notice a pattern? Is it preventative? If so, what are some solutions? Using the pen to express your thoughts and emotions can help you release your worries, vent your frustrations openly, and clearly identify problems and solutions through reflection.

5. Turn on the tunes

Music can help you get in touch with your emotions, whether it's listening to an uplifting song, relaxing to smooth jazz, or relating to a song that describes exactly what you're going through. What songs put a smile on your face? Think of a tune that makes you want to dance or brings back pleasant memories. Create a playlist of your favorite feel good music. Plug in your iPod, tune out the surrounding world and tune in to music that moves you. Even listening to only a couple of songs can improve your mood.

6. Dance away your blues

Now that you have selected your favorite tunes, it is time to de-stress through dance moves. Dancing is a fun form of exercise and stress management. There is no expertise or technique required; all you need is comfortable attire and good music. So after your next grueling day at work, come home, kick your shoes off, get loose, let your hair down, and release your worries. After a few tunes, you'll find your mind cleared, and your body rejuvenated.

7. Stimulate Your Mind

Take your mind off your worries and refocus on a brain boosting activity. Puzzle games to keep on hand include the Rubik's cube, crossword puzzles, riddles, scramble, and spider solitaire. These brain games provide easy entertainment as well as a sense of satisfaction when your focus is redirected on reaching a solution to a problem other than your own. Yes, these games can be addictive, so set your watch for 10 minutes; you can come back to your game of choice later in the day when you aren't at work or in the midst of other must-dos.

8. Make a List

Writing goals and tasks down on paper at the beginning of the day can help keep your thoughts collected and your day focused. When you check off your tasks as you complete them, it decreases the chance for your day to end up in a frenzy. So take out 10 minutes in the morning to jot down small goals you want to accomplish. Whether it's laundry, working out, cooking, or cleaning a particular room in the house, creating a list will allow you more control over your day because you'll be organized and, thus, preventing potential stress.

9. Vent, vent and vent some more

Expressing frustrations and worries openly to a trusted friend, family member or a clergy member can provide instant stress relief. Holding things in often leads to more stress, so make the call to get things off your chest. Be sure to time yourself -- and let your trusted ear know you're giving yourself 10 minutes -- to avoid your conversation from turning into a long drawn-out ordeal. Learn how to release quickly and move on, which can help you focus more on finding a solution than concentrating on the problem. Give yourself 10 minutes to vent, cry, laugh, or talk about your angst. When you confide your stresses in someone, you can hang up the phone feeling less burdened. If the 10-minute rule isn't working for you, consider seeing a professional or finding a support group.

10. Exhale and Escape on a mini-vacation

Set aside 10 minutes for mental exhale from your cluttered thoughts and worries. Take your mind on a mini-vacation. Here's a quick tip for a mental escape: Find your happy place by focusing on three things, such as places or memories that are special to you. Maybe it's your favorite vacation spot, childhood memory, or a special person. Tune out distractions and focus on the details tied to those three things, such as any scents, emotions, sounds or feelings. Let your thoughts become vivid as you reminisce and mentally revisit places that make you smile and allow you to escape from reality. Although it's only for a small portion of your day, this type of visualization will allow your mind to exhale and feel more relaxed.

Nutrition Diets and Bodybuilding Can Help You Gain Weight

Now is the Time to Quit Smoking

Tips To Losing Weight and Controlling Blood Sugar

Eating Well to Improve your Personal Life

How yoga builds self-esteem, awareness and more

Potential Risk of Rapid Weight Loss

Common Dieting Mistakes

Best Tips For Healthy Eating

Healthy Aging Is Getting Good Nights Sleep

The Best 3 Reasons Why You Must Lose Your Weight

The Healthiest Foods You Can Find

10 Tips For Women To Keep Fit And Healthy

A Diabetic Diet plan for Vegetarians

Read more »

Can we blame the obesity crisis on electronic media?

Why are today's kids so much heavier than kids of previous generations?

The classic answer is that kids today are taking in more calories and spending less energy: They spend less time playing outdoors and have stopped working on the farm and doing chores – but hey, haven't they stopped doing that a long time ago?

The energy expenditure side of the equation is the pet project of fast-food and junk-food makers.  Oh, if we could only give kids another hour of gym! If only kids could balance their ravenous appetite for snacks with a little more outdoor play we wouldn't have to voice the unthinkable "eat less" advice.

But the numbers just don't add up.  In order to eat like the TV ads suggest kids would have to increase physical activity to what amounts to no time left for homework or sleep.

I'd like to take an honest look at how sedentary activities really affect kids' waistlines. 

An article in Obesity Reviews looked at the current trends of childhood pastimes, and how those affect not only energy expenditure, but also energy consumption.  Let's take a look:

TV viewing

Kids watch many hours of TV and high rates of TV viewing are correlated with obesity.  While sitting on a comfy couch is super sedentary, watching TV has many other effects on energy balance. 

20-25 percent of daily calories are consumed in front of the TV.  This distracted eating increases intake of calorie-dense food (i.e. highly processed foods with lots of calories).

A study showed that 36 percent more pizza and 71 percent more mac&cheese were consumed when eaten in front of the TV, compared to meals eaten without the TV on.

For many people TV watching is associated with snacking.  They'll munch while watching whether hungry or not, and if they ever forget to bring the munchies, an ad – so many of the TV ads are for junk-food -- will no doubt remind them that something is amiss.

Video games

Video and computer games fill many hours in the average kid's day.   Video games are relatively new, and their effect on obesity has been studied less extensively than that of TV's, but observational studies show a connection, and a recent study showed obesity and overweight doubling for every extra hour spent playing electronic games.

Again we can argue that (non-active) video games are pretty sedentary, but the studies show that playing video games makes kids eat more.  Just like TV, video gaming leads to eating, the reflexive non-hunger kind of eating.

And don't forget advertisers target video gamers on these platforms, too.

A single session of video game play in healthy male adolescents is associated with an increased food intake, regardless of appetite sensations.

Sleep

Who wants to sleep when there's so much to do?  The presence of electronic devices such as a computer, TV or smart phone in the bedroom has been shown to delay sleep.

It seems counterintuitive, but shorter sleep duration is associated with increased risk of obesity.  It might be that being awake at night gives opportunity for late-night snacking; it might be that fatigue leads to inactivity the next day; and maybe lack of sleep messes up our hunger and appetite regulation.

We're sleeping less – studies show that sleep has gone down by more than an hour over the past decades – and since sleep isn't a waste of time, the barriers to sleep (many of them electronic) are hurting our health.

Media consumption begets food consumption

A recent Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that 8-18 year-olds devote an average of 7½ hours (!) to using entertainment media in a typical day.  Much of that time is spent media multitasking -- using more than one medium at a time. From what we learn from other studies we know that much of our kids' multitasked media time also involves another added and almost automatic activity: snacking. 

Much more significant than the low energy expenditure toll of media consumption is its pairing with distracted eating.

Victorian ladies weren't known for their workouts.  But they didn't snack while embroidering.  Eating used to be prompted by hunger and traditional mealtimes.  Now, it's prompted by an ad and constant availability of highly processed high-calorie food.

Uncoupling the TV, computer and video from it's by now natural companion – sugary drinks, snacks and ready to eat meals – is a tall task.

Any ideas on where to start?

Read more »