"How Do You Give Yourself a Hapiness Boost?"

Mrlady

Happiness interview: Mr. Lady.

Next week I'm going to the BlogHer conference, where I'll be on a panel with Mr. Lady (guess what? it's not her real name). She writes the blog Whiskey in My Sippy Cup -- "a heartbreaking work of staggering mediocrity."

I'm looking forward to meeting her in person, and was curious to hear what she had to say specifically on the subject of happiness, because it's a subject that she writes about often, from her own perspective.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Mr. Lady: Laughing. Until I cry and pee comes out a little bit laughter. This, of course, means hanging around the types of people that induce such laughter. I forgot to do that for a lot of years. I won't make that mistake ever again.

What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?
That it's a verb, not a noun. That happiness is something that is constantly happening, like the wind, you just have to let yourself feel it.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
Worrying about yours. Or his, or hers or theirs. I'm a pleaser, and enabler, an 'I will die a thousand deaths if you don't love me every second of the day' kind of person. We really aren't fun to be around, because we spend so much time worrying about what you think of us that we can't figure out how we feel about ourselves. It's a character flaw. I'm working on it.

If you're feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?
I create. It doesn't matter much what, just the process of making something. Sometimes, it's really awful cookies (I was born missing a cookie-baking gene) (No, really) (I can't even make the kind that are already made), sometimes it's fixing someone's blog template for them, sometimes it's writing. Doesn't much matter, really.

Have you always felt about the same level of happiness, or have you been through a period when you felt exceptionally happy or unhappy – if so, why? If you were unhappy, how did you become happier?
I've run the gamut, for sure. I came from an extremely abusive home, and spent the next 20 years trying to re-create it the best ways I knew how. I've danced with depression in the pale moon light, made it through two nervous breakdowns, and one day just decided that I'd much prefer to see the good in the world. and now I do. The end.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
Every minute of the day, every day of my life. I make a conscious decision to rejoice every day, even the days when I don't want to. Everything has an upside, and I am determined to find it, always.

* I'm a big fan of Daniel Pink, who writes about the changing world of work, and always enjoy stopping by hisblog. Great stuff there.

* Is your book group reading The Happiness Project? I've prepared a one-page discussion guide for book groups, as well as a guide tailored for church groups, Bible study groups, spirituality book groups, and the like. If you'd like either discussion guide (or both), email me at gretchenrubin1 at gretchenrubin dot com.