Say It Isn't So! Couples Kissing Less

By Kelly Rouba, GalTime.com

Just how powerful can a kiss be? Can one romantic smooch ignite the passion of a lifelong romance? Donna Krakauer from Toronto, Canada says, heck, yeah!!  "The first time Rick kissed me, I knew immediately I loved him by the way the kiss felt," Krakauer said. "I melted into him and realized I had found the love of my life." She was right. He later turned out to be 'the one.'

Robert Epstein, Ph.D., a distinguished research psychologist and former editor-in-chief ofPsychology Today Magazine, believes that kissing creates a bonding experience between couples. "It's also a way that we show ourselves to be vulnerable and most expressions of vulnerability strengthen an emotional bond," he said.

Epstein adds that, in the beginning of a relationship, kissing is a novel experience for both partners. "Novelty, too, tends to strengthen emotional bonds."

But, as time goes by, many couples tend to kiss less often. According to the results of a survey conducted by the British Heart Foundation, couples in the 18 to 24 age group make out an average of 11 times per week, whereas nearly one in five (18%) of those who are married often go an entire week without kissing their partner. When they do kiss, two in five married people (40%) only kiss for five seconds or less.

Related: WHY Couples Kiss Less Over Time

Sadly, "lots of people think kissing is what you do when dating as a means of getting 'into bed' with someone (and) that once you are sleeping with your partner, (kissing) is no longer necessary—but nothing could be farther from the truth," says GalTime Love Doc Jane Greer, Ph.D., a nationally known marriage and family therapist and author of numerous books on relationships.

In an effort to remind people how powerful, pleasurable, and intimate a kiss can be, there's actually an International Kissing Day or World Kiss Day celebrated globally each July 6. (What were you doing on the holiday this year?) "Kissing is an instant connection of love—a love hit where you are saying, 'I love you' to your partner," says Greer. "It's a way to seal in your love when leaving for work, as well as the perfect way to get back into your being a 'we' against the world when returning home." Plus, "Kissing will forever be the best tool you can use as a key to 'start your engines' and make sure everybody is turned on and in the mood for sex."

Related: How to Bring Back the Kiss

Stacie Ikka, founder of the dating consultation service Sitting In A Tree, agrees. "(Kissing) helps to create or maintain physical intimacy. While emotional intimacy is critical to the success of a relationship, so is physical intimacy. Kissing is a good way to communicate to your partner that you still find them attractive, and it is a way to connect with each other on a physical level."  Not to mention, " it differentiates your romantic relationship from your platonic ones."

What You Think:

Exclusively for GalTime- Ikka conducted a random, unscientific poll to see what others thought about how important kissing is in a relationship. The findings revealed that based on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being extremely important), most people think it rates a 10.

Here's what some of those who were polled had to say:

• To me it's a 10. I love kissing. It's a big turn on.
•  It's a solid 10. It shows a lot about how the person feels for you. It shows trust, passion, and a whole bunch of things. It's a very intimate connection.
•  Kissing is a 10. The song says it all--"It's in his kiss." I think it's a girl thing, but that's where the love is felt.
•  Kissing=10 because it is the most sensual way of communicating.
•  ‎10 because it's the most basic form of intimacy and without the basic, the extraordinary can't exist.
• It's a solid 10. It shows a lot about how the person feels for you. It shows trust, passion, and a whole bunch of things. It's a very intimate connection.
•  Kissing is a 10. The song says it all--"It's in his kiss." I think it's a girl thing, but that's where the love is felt.
•  Kissing=10 because it is the most sensual way of communicating.
•  ‎10 because it's the most basic form of intimacy and without the basic, the extraordinary can't exist.

  
Related: Can You "Create" Chemistry?
Ikka also conducted a poll to see what people considered to be the most important kiss they ever shared. Here are some of the findings:

• I  have two most important kisses. The first was when I met my second husband; I knew he was the one. The second was when we kissed in Maui under the chuppah when we got married!
•  The first time my now husband kissed me because I knew he was "the one."
•  ‎The first time a girl grabbed me and initiated. The (traditional) role reversal caught me off guard.
•  While giving birth because you and your love are right there together as a loving determined team.
•  The last one. On the forehead. With the gentleness of a feather and the depth of the deepest ocean. (The woman who wrote this lost her husband a few months ago to leukemia.)