can therefore be unlearned by practicing self discipline repeatedly
with regard to fear until it goes away.
The most common fears that we experience, which often sabotage all
hope for success, are the fears of failure, poverty, and loss of
money. These fears cause people to avoid risk of any kind and to
reject opportunity when it is presented to them. They are so afraid of
failure that they are almost paralyzed when it comes to taking any
chances at all.
There are many other fears that interfere with our happiness. as well.
People fear the loss of love or the loss of their jobs and their
financial security. People fear embarrassment or ridicule. People fear
rejection and criticism of any kind. People fear the loss of respect
or esteem of others. These and many other fears hold us back
throughout life.
The most common reaction in a fear situation is the attitude of, "I
can't!" This is the fear of failure and loss that stops us from taking
action. It is experienced physically, starting in the solar plexus.
When people are really afraid, their mouth and throat go dry, their
heart starts pounding. Sometimes they breathe shallowly and their
stomach churns. Often they feel like getting up and running to the
bathroom.
These are all physical manifestations of the inhibitive negative habit
pattern, which we all experience from time to time. Whenever a person
is in the grip of fear, he feels like a deer caught in the headlights
of a car. This fear paralyzes action. It often shuts down the brain
and causes the individual to revert to the "fight-or-flight" reaction.
Fear is a terrible emotion that undermines our happiness and can hold
us back throughout our lives.
By visualizing yourself performing with confidence and competence in
an area where you are fearful, your visual image will eventually be
accepted by your subconscious mind as instructions for your
performance. Yourself image, the way you see yourself and think about
yourself, is eventually altered by feeding your mind these positive
mental pictures of yourself performing at your best.
By using the "act as if" method, you walk, talk, and carry yourself
exactly as you would if you were completely unafraid in a particular
situation. You stand up straight, smile, move quickly and confidently,
and in every respect act as if you already had the courage that you
desire.
The Law of Reversibility says that "if you feel a certain way, you
will act in a manner consistent with that feeling." But if you act in
a manner consistent with that feeling, even if you don't feel it, the
Law of Reversibility will create the feeling that is consistent with
your actions.
This is one of the greatest breakthroughs in success psychology. You
develop the courage you desire by disciplining yourself repeatedly to
do the thing you fear until that fear eventually disappears—and it
will.
Your ability to confront, deal with, and act in spite of your fears is
the key to happiness and success. One of the best exercises you can
practice is to identify a person or situation in your life of which
you are afraid and resolve to deal with that fear situation
immediately. Do not allow it to make you unhappy for another minute.
Resolve to confront the situation or person and put the fear behind
you.
When you identify a fear and discipline yourself to move toward it, it
grows smaller and more manageable. What's more, as your fears grow
smaller, your confidence grows. Soon, your fears lose their control
over you.
In contrast, when you back away from a fear-inducing situation or
person, your fear grows larger and larger. Soon it dominates your
thinking and feeling, preoccupies you during the day, and often keeps
you awake at night.
The only way to deal with a fear is to address it head-on. Remind
yourself that "denial" is not a river in Egypt. The natural tendency
of many people is to deny that they have a problem caused by fear of
some kind. They're afraid of confronting it. In turn, it becomes a
major source of stress, unhappiness, and psychosomatic illness.
Be willing to deal with the situation or person directly. As
Shakespeare said, "Take arms against a sea of troubles, and in so
doing, end them."
When you force yourself to face any fear-inducing situation in your
life, your self-esteem goes up, your self-respect increases, and your
sense of personal pride grows. You eventually reach the point in life
where you are not afraid of anything.
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