Healthy Eating With Him

By Joy Bauer, RD

Whether you've been married for 25-plus years or just started dating, you've probably figured out that going from being single to being part of a couple can really change how and what you're eating. See ya, salad with grilled chicken and dressing on the side; hello, cheeseburgers and french fries. As you've settled into couple-dom, chances are some of your healthy eating habits have started to slip. But the reality is that most women simply can't eat like guys do for very long without packing on the pounds. Here are four of the most common pitfalls to watch out for.

Pitfall: You're eating as much as he is—and not realizing it.

You may be equals in the relationship, but men are taller and more muscular, so they can simply eat more than women without gaining weight. To maintain a healthy weight, men need between 2,200 and 2,800 calories a day, whereas women need only 1,400 to 2,000. That means your guy can handle the equivalent of an extra slice of pizza, two cocktails and dessert without doing damage. How can you stick to healthy portions while he's piling his plate high? One of the biggest problems is that men tend to be speed-eaters. If you try to keep up the pace, you're not giving your stomach time to register that it's full—which happens at least 20 minutes after you've started eating. So stay on track with a few mindful eating tips: Put your fork down between bites, sip water often and make a conscious effort to chew your food thoroughly. It's not always easy, but it is doable. And once he sees you doing this, you can nudge him to follow suit so he can slow down as well.

More pointers that can help you keep portion sizes in check: Use a smaller dish than he does. A 4-oz piece of chicken, 1/2 cup rice and pile of veggies may seem measly on a platter-size plate, but it looks like a veritable feast when served on a salad dish. When dining out, consider ordering a salad and an appetizer (or two appetizers) as your whole meal. Or divvy up the dishes in a different way: You order an appetizer but then also have a small amount (about 1/4) of his main dish. Restaurants notoriously serve portions that are way too big—even for him—so this will help you both eat less. Then take a few forkfuls of his dessert instead of ordering your own.

Pitfall: You're matching him glass for glass.

Sorry, but it's no coincidence that you can't hold your liquor (or wine or beer) as well as he can. Women produce less of the liver enzyme that breaks down alcohol, so alcohol stays in our system longer. And premenstrual hormonal changes make matters worse, causing your body to absorb alcohol even faster than usual. (Birth control pills and other medications containing estrogen can also slow the rate at which your body eliminates alcohol.) As a result, we're also more susceptible to alcohol-related health problems, like liver damage. Excess alcohol may also raise your risk of developing breast cancer, possibly because it may increase estrogen levels, which can fuel the development of tumors.

Don't worry: I'm not going to suggest that you abstain completely. Just keep it moderate—meaning no more than one 5-oz glass of wine, 12-oz beer, or 1 1/2 oz of hard liquor per day— particularly around your period, since that's a time when you can get drunk faster. And keep in mind that imbibing has a caloric price tag, so if you drink regularly, you'll probably need to cut back on other treats like chocolate and ice cream. Five ounces of wine will run you 120 calories, a 12-oz bottle of regular beer clocks in at about 150 calories (100 for light beer), and a 1 1/2-oz shot of hard liquor has approximately 100 calories (and that's without any added juice or soda). Also be warned that a study showed that mixed drinks containing artificial sweeteners were absorbed more quickly into the bloodstream. So it's probably best to stick with a mixed drink made with zero-calorie club soda and a splash of fruit juice rather than one with diet soda.

Pitfall: He doesn't eat your healthy dinners.

When you were single, you may have chosen calorie-conscious ingredients and used healthier cooking techniques. But when a guy enters the picture and isn't keen on a veggie or chicken stir-fry, chances are you start catering to his preferences. Now, you're cooking (and eating) more fried foods, red meat and cheesy pastas. My advice: Forget forcing steamed chicken and broccoli on him, and start by making small switches like replacing the regular mayo with reduced-fat, using low-fat cheese instead of the regular stuff, or cooking with ground turkey instead of beef.

You can also learn to make slimming versions of some of his favorite recipes. Chicken parm sandwiches and chips were both staples in my hubby's diet before we got married. I replaced the regular greasy chips with healthier ones, and a new and improved version of chicken Parmesan is now a Bauer family staple. A few more favorites-made-healthier tricks: baked "fried" chicken, ziti with meat sauce using lean ground turkey and a whole-wheat-blend pasta, and homemade pizza made with a wholewheat crust and reduced-fat cheese. You can even make lower-fat meat loaf. For a meat loaf recipe that my husband and brothers adore as well as my healthy chicken Parmesan, go to WomansDay.com/JoyRecipes.

I also recommend figuring out which healthy foods he actually likes—keep serving those salads and veggies and he's bound to show a preference for at least one—and make those more often. And if it helps keep the peace, make one of his more fattening favorites once a week. (Just limit yourself to a smaller portion.)

Another option is to cook the same thing for everyone but make his main dish be your side (or vice-versa). If he's craving pasta for dinner, let him have a big bowl with a little chicken mixed in while you have a piece of chicken with a little pasta on the side.

Try a few of Joy Bauer's guilt-free comfort food recipes.

Pitfall: He's the cook. And boy, does he pile on the cheese and oil.

I know, I know, it seems downright ungrateful to complain about this. How can you criticize a guy who just took the time and effort to prepare dinner? Try appealing to his ego as well as his problem-solving nature. Tell him how much you appreciate his culinary skills, but add that you're worried that all the delicious food he's making is going straight to your hips. Then, instead of offering specific tips, say something like, "How can we lighten up that chili without sacrificing the flavor?" If he enjoys experimenting in the kitchen, he may happily take this on as a challenge.

If you don't see any changes, or if they're too small to make a difference—say, he's using low-fat cheese in the grilled cheese but coating the bread in butter—consider taking a collaborative approach. Suggest that the two of you research some new healthy recipes, and maybe even take a cooking class together. That will give you the chance to discover some new, lighter meals. Or you can offer to split the cooking: When it's your turn, make some of the healthy substitutions you're hoping he'll pick up. When he eats those mashed potatoes with cauliflower added in (to cut calories and carbs), be sure to point out how the healthier version tastes just as good!

Illustrations: Kavel Rafferty